2-Headed Shark Attack
Directed by Christopher Ray
Starring Brooke Hogan, Carmen Electra and Charlie O’Connell
Available from The Asylum
Reviewer: Horrorphilia Jason

The Lowdown: Yep it’s another super cheesy, bad cgi shark movie, but it’s still a cut above almost all the rest.

Oh man I was dreading reviewing this movie. I enjoy to a certain degree some of the other Asylum/Syfy creature flicks for background noise or to turn on if I’m completely bored, but I’ll admit most of those are really shitty and not worth recommending. Let’s just say I was shocked that I enjoyed this movie as much as I did, and I wasn’t even drunk!

The three main “stars” of the film are Hulk’s daughter Brooke Hogan, which I admit she was prolly a lil better than what I was expecting, Charlie O’Connell (Yep Jerry’s washed up brother), who plays a cool instructor in charge of the cruise, and his wife played by Carmen Electra, who looked drugged up and bored to tears. The rest of the cast is pretty huge with plenty of other college age kids ready to be the shark’s meal. This group of college kids are taking some type of college course where they go sailing on the sea and go sunbathing. I think one of the prerequisite’s for qualifying to be in the class in 5% body fat or less. Their boat is attacked by the 2-Headed Shark and they are forced to go to shore while the boat is being repaired. The atoll (little island) they are waiting at is completely empty with only a few huts and empty boats left behind. Of course those in the water aren’t safe, but eventually the atoll is slowly being sunk by the shark attacking the coral foundations keeping it afloat. Pretty soon no one is safe. Will everyone become a shark snack, or will Brooke Hogan, the boat mechanic, underwater welder, rise up to the rescue?

Yes the movie gets into some insane ridiculousness, but I was still entertained throughout. The first thing that I liked was the pacing of the film. A lot of these films have tons of exposition and boring dialogue with sporadic creature action. This movie didn’t even try to explain the shark but instead focused on what people actually want to see: blood and carnage. Yeah the cgi was spotty and bad in a lot of parts but some of it was actually a notch above what you normally see in a movie this budget. Plus they did a smart thing and used a practical shark head during some of the attack scenes. The movie did not skimp on the blood. You see people ripped to shreds and pulled apart by the two heads. There is even I dare say, a bad ass scene involving a dude being knocked up into the air and the shark jumping out of the water and chomping it in mid air. Cgi or not I was happy with the bloodshed.

Even though Brooke Hogan was in a bikini and or cutoff shorts the whole movie, she definitely was more of a tomboy role. Sadly those tig ol bitties were never let loose in this film. There was actually one T&A scene that was awesome, and eventually culminated in both chicks being eaten by the two heads at the same time. As a matter of fact they arranged several times in the movie to conveniently have two people eaten at the same time. Hey why have a two headed shark if you can’t take advantage of it right?

Are there any negatives? The whole island sinking was ultra far fetched and the worst quality cgi. The earthquake motions looked like actors stumbling around drunk and the cracks in the ground were Devil awful (think about it and you’ll get it). Also the very ending was so friggin bad. This seemingly unstoppable shark earlier in the movie, is wounded by a dude with a wooden cross and this blonde chick going buck wild with a knife. Spoiler alert. The shark gets blown to bits in another head slapping far fetched moment.

There may be too many faults for the average horror goer to give it a shot, but creature flick lovers are gonna dig it. I suggest just shutting off your brain, maybe grab some brews, and just sit back and enjoy the ride. I can say without a doubt it’s way more enjoyable than the recent big budget monstrosity that was Shark Night. Maybe The Asylum has turned the corner and will start spouting some better quality creature flicks. 2012 they’re off to a damn good start.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

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